Understanding the 4 Responses to Threat & Reflecting on Halloween Emotions

Halloween may have come and gone, but for many families, the memories still linger — flashes of excitement, nerves, and a few unexpected surprises. From flashing lights and loud noises to jump scares and masks that hid familiar faces, the night may have brought out a mix of joy and jitters for little ones.

While the season was meant to be fun, it also reminded us that for some children, all that stimulation could feel a little bit scary — and that’s perfectly okay. Our brains are designed to protect us when something feels uncertain or threatening.

According to Audrey Batterham, the 4 Responses to Threat model our bodies naturally respond to fear or stress in four ways: Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Face. Recognizing these responses after Halloween can help parents and caregivers make sense of their child’s reactions — and offer the right kind of comfort and support, not just during the holiday, but every day that follows.

💥 FIGHT – “Looked like” anger, frustration, or defiance

Action: argue, attack, move

Perhaps your child shouted, “I don’t want to go!” or yanked off a mask that felt too tight. Their body wasn’t trying to misbehave — it was protecting itself.

Evidence-Based Cool Tools (After the Moment):

• Heavy work: Have your child carry pumpkins, stomp around, or push against a wall to help discharge extra energy and regulate their arousal levels (Bundy, Lane, & Murray, 2020).

• Movement breaks: Jumping, marching, or “power poses” help release built-up energy and re-balance the body’s sensory systems (Schaaf & Mailloux, 2015).

• Co-regulation: Model calm breathing and grounding phrases like, “You’re safe, I’m here.” Your steady presence can restore their sense of security (Porges, 2011; Shanker, 2016).

These activities use sensory input to help children return to calm after the “fight” response.

🏃‍♂️ FLIGHT – “Looked like” anxiety or avoidance

Action: leave, hide, avoid

Maybe your child clung to you tightly, avoided certain houses, or asked to go home early. Their instinct to escape wasn’t about defiance — it was about finding safety.

Evidence-Based Cool Tools (After the Moment):

• Safe space: Create a calm corner at home with dim lighting, a soft blanket, or a favorite toy. Familiar comfort helps the nervous system settle (AOTA, 2020).

• Rhythmic movement: Go for a walk, rock in a chair, or swing together. Predictable motion helps restore calm (Porges, 2011).

• Predictability & control: Talk about what happened and what felt scary. Offer choices for next time (“Would you like to hand out candy or go earlier?”) to rebuild confidence (Shanker, 2016).

These steps promote predictability and sensory rhythm, helping children regain their sense of control.

❄️ FREEZE & SHUTDOWN – “Looked like” quiet, still, or zoned out

Action: comply, justify, rationalize

Some children may have gone completely still — not talking, not moving — even if they wanted to. This “pause” is the body’s way of staying safe when things feel too much.

Evidence-Based Cool Tools (After the Moment):

• Grounding through sensory input: Offer a weighted blanket, firm hug, or gentle squeeze to help reawaken their body’s safety signals (Bundy et al., 2020; Schaaf & Mailloux, 2015).

• Breathing scaffolds: Try playful breathwork, like blowing bubbles or pretending to blow out birthday candles, to reconnect breath and body (Shanker, 2016).

• Environmental modification: Turn down lights or sounds, and keep things simple for a bit. Calm spaces help children re-engage when they’re ready (AOTA, 2020).

These strategies help children come out of “freeze” by reconnecting them to their bodies and a sense of safety.

💬 FACE – “Looked like” connection and communication

Action: share, express, engage

Some children may have said, “That scared me, but I’m okay,” or “Can you go with me?” This is the Face response — a sign of trust, communication, and growing emotional regulation.

Evidence-Based Cool Tools (After the Moment):

• Emotion labeling: Reflect back what you observed — “It seemed like that loud noise startled you.” Naming emotions helps children build emotional vocabulary (AOTA, 2020; Shanker, 2016).

• Coping with your Cool Toolbox: Keep calm-down tools accessible — fidgets, self-regulation visuals, or soft toys — to support independence (Schaaf & Mailloux, 2015).

• Social participation: Celebrate bravery! Talk about what went well and how they handled it. Confidence grows through connection (Porges, 2011).

When we encourage this kind of reflection and expression, we strengthen a child’s sense of self-trust and resilience.

Looking Back with Love

Halloween was more than costumes and candy — it was a real-life opportunity to practice emotional awareness and self-regulation. The way your child reacted told a story about how their body and brain worked to stay safe in a new, stimulating environment.

And as caregivers, your calm, patient presence helped them feel anchored — even when the world around them was full of surprises.

A Moment of Devotion

“Let all that you do be done in love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:14

When our children faced fear or overwhelm — a spooky costume, a loud noise, or a sudden surprise — we may have wanted to fix it right away. But sometimes, what they needed most wasn’t a quick solution, but our steady love.

It was in those small, tender moments — when you knelt beside them, offered your hand, or whispered, “You’re safe, I’m here” — that God’s heart shone through. His love is our calm in the chaos. It doesn’t rush or shame; it listens, comforts, and guides. Every time you helped your child move from fear to peace, you reflected that divine love — showing them that even in the dark, God’s light never fades.

“Lord, thank You for creating my child so beautifully and uniquely.
 When fear rises, help me lead with patience and peace.
 When they feel overwhelmed, remind me to be still and present, mirroring Your love.
 Fill our home with comfort, courage, and light — even after the spookiest nights.
 May every heartbeat, every deep breath, and every gentle moment point us back to Your love.”

Amen.

Because even when the world feels loud or scary, love — steady, patient, and kind — always lights the path home.

References

American Occupational Therapy Association. (2020). Occupational therapy’s role in emotional regulation and mental health promotion in children and youth. AOTA Practice Guidelines.

Batterham, A. (2021). The 4 Threat Responses Model: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Face.

Bundy, A. C., Lane, S. J., & Murray, E. A. (2020). Sensory Integration: Theory and Practice (3rd ed.). F.A. Davis.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Schaaf, R. C., & Mailloux, Z. (2015). Clinician’s Guide for Implementing Ayres Sensory Integration: Promoting Participation for Children with Autism. AOTA Press.

Shanker, S. (2016). Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life. Penguin Random House.