A Season of Memories: Helping Children Navigate Grief During the Holidays

The holiday season is often filled with joy, tradition, and togetherness — but when a child is grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can feel heavier, more confusing, and unexpectedly emotional. You may notice sadness, questions, clinginess, irritability, or moments when your child pulls away. All of these reactions are normal.

As a parent or caregiver, your steady presence and gentle guidance can make an enormous difference. The strategies below are grounded in research and designed to help children feel supported, understood, and connected during the holiday season. And at the end, you’ll find a meaningful “Memory Wreath” activity — a beautiful way to honor the person your family misses.

Evidence-Based Strategies to Support a Grieving Child

1. Keep Communication Honest, Warm, and Open

Encourage children to share their feelings and ask questions. Be honest about what has happened in age-appropriate ways, listen actively, and respond with warmth and empathy. Validating their emotions fosters trust and helps children feel safe expressing grief (Worden, 2009). Children need to hear that their feelings are normal — whether they’re sad, angry, confused, or even excited about the holidays. You can say:

• “It makes sense that you miss them today.”

• “I feel that way sometimes too.”

• “It’s okay to feel happy and sad at the same time.”

  
  

2. Maintain Routines — With Compassionate Flexibility

Grief can make children feel insecure. Maintaining predictable routines during the holidays — regular meals, bedtime rituals, or special holiday traditions — provides a sense of stability and safety while allowing room for emotional ups and downs (Christ, 2000).

3. Model Adaptive Coping Skills

Children learn from observing adults. Express your own feelings appropriately and show them ways to cope — deep breathing, gentle movement, or quiet reflection (Bowlby, 1980). Modeling self-care and adaptive coping skills teaches children that it’s okay to feel sadness and also find moments of joy.

4. Create Interactive Ways to Express Grief

Children often grieve through doing, not talking. Art, drawing, and imaginative play allow children to express emotions they may not have words for (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2005).

Try:

• Drawing a favorite memory

• Writing a note to their loved one

• Making a “memory box” with comforting items

• Using dolls/stuffed animals to act out feelings

5. Invite Positive Connections Through Rituals and “Continuing Bonds”

A healthy grief approach allows children to stay connected to the person who died — not “move on” or forget. Continuing bonds might look like:

• Lighting a candle

• Telling stories

• Cooking their favorite holiday dish

• Hanging a special ornament

• Visiting a meaningful place

These practices of “continuing bonds” help children feel connected and supported, and can transform grief into a meaningful presence in their lives (Neimeyer, 2001).

6. Encourage Social Support and Peer Connection

Children benefit greatly from knowing they’re not the only ones missing someone. If available, consider:

• A children’s grief group

• School-based support

• Books about grief

• Playdates with supportive friends

Studies of school grief groups show reductions in grief symptoms and improvements in emotional support and coping skills.

7. Give Children Choices and a Sense of Control

Grief can feel unpredictable, so offering choices helps. Ask:

• “Do you want to go to the holiday event or stay home?”

• “Do you want to help decorate or take a break?”

• “Would you like to include something special for them this year?”

Research shows that when children have autonomy during periods of grief, they experience fewer stress symptoms and feel more confident expressing emotions.

A Healing Holiday Ritual: Create a Memory Wreath

Tis’ the season to weave your loved one’s presence into your holiday traditions by creating a Memory Wreath. This simple craft allows children to express their grief, share memories, and feel connected to the person they miss. It can also become a ritual you can return to each year.

How to Make a Memory Wreath

Materials

• Plain wreath base (greenery, foam, grapevine, or felt)

• Ribbons or fabric strips

• Paper tags or cardstock shapes

• Markers or stickers

• Photos or small keepsakes

• Hot-glue gun or tape

Steps

1. Chose a Base: Use a grapevine wreath, faux evergreen wreath, or a ribbon-wrapped metal hoop.

2. Gather Meaningful Materials: Favorite photos, meaningful items, scented elements, holiday touches.

3. Write Memory Tags:  Cut small tags or shapes from cardstock and write a favorite memory, phrase they always said, or simply their name with a small note of

   love.

4. Assemble with Intention: Use wire, hot glue, or ribbon to attach elements and memory tags.

5. Add a Ribbon of Remembrance: Choose a ribbon in their favorite

   color to tie on.

6. (OPTIONAL) Create a Quiet Ritual: Light a candle, share a memory, play a favorite

   song, or say a prayer in honor of your loved one.

Benefits of a Memory Wreath

✔ Supports emotional expression

✔ Strengthens continuing bonds

✔ Encourages family communication

✔ Offers a healthy holiday ritual

✔ Builds long-term resilience

You don’t have to erase sadness to create moments of connection and comfort. Grieving and celebration can exist together. By offering honest communication, emotional safety, creative expression, and meaningful rituals, you give your child the tools they need to navigate grief with love.

And each time you revisit your Memory Wreath, you’ll be reminding your child — and your heart — that love doesn’t disappear. It grows with you.

A Moment of Devotion

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Grief has a way of showing up unexpectedly — in quiet moments, holiday traditions, or memories that surface out of nowhere. When someone we love is missing, even joyful seasons can feel tender. Yet Scripture reminds us of something steady and unshakable: God draws near to us in our pain.

He doesn’t ask us to hide our tears or rush our healing. Instead, He meets us right where we are — in the ache, in the longing, in the deep desire to feel connected to the person we miss. Every memory, every emotion, and every moment of love is seen by Him.

As you honor your loved one today, remember this:

Grief is not a sign of weakness — it is evidence of love.

And God stays close to you in all of it.

You are not walking this path alone. His presence surrounds you, comforting and guiding your heart toward hope, one breath at a time.

“Dear Lord, 

Draw near to my heart today.

In moments of sadness, bring comfort.

In moments of longing, bring peace.

Help me feel Your closeness as I remember the one I love.

Hold my heart gently and remind me that You are with me —

in every memory, every tear, and every step forward.

Amen.”

References

Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss: Sadness and depression. Basic Books.

Christ, G. H. (2000). Healing children’s grief: Surviving a parent’s death from cancer. Oxford University Press.

Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Scribner.

Neimeyer, R. A. (2001). Meaning reconstruction and the experience of loss. American Psychological Association.

Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (4th ed.). Springer Publishing Company.